My crazy grandfather

When I talk about my crazy grandmother and my crazy grandfather, I mean two very different things. The former, my mom’s mom, is eccentric. She is a product of her generation, location and experiences. She started out life on her grandmother’s farm before moving in with her mother and stepfather at age 5, relocating often, eventually marrying young and then becoming a widowed mother of three children at age 36. Her often tragic life has morphed her into the off-beat, bird-loving old woman who can’t pass up a deal or throw anything away. This woman is the grandmother who recently broke her leg after hip-replacement surgery and is currently (but – fingers crossed – temporarily) in a skilled nursing facility.

My crazy grandfather, on the other hand, is actually crazy. My dad’s father is a World War II vet of the U.S. Navy. Sometime in his life, he developed an addiction to some kind of medicine. I think it was a pain killer, but it might have been some kind of antidepressant. A quack doctor kept him on it for years – decades – longer than he should have, and when another finally took him off the drug, he had a break with reality. When I was six, he and my grandmother divorced. (Incidentally, this grandmother – whom I often dub my “nice grandmother” – is the one who was in the hospital last year with heart problems.) He spent quite a while wandering around, including stints in Malaysia and Singapore, trying to escape people who probably were never looking for him. For years, he has had certain bills sent to my father’s house out of his bizarre paranoia. I received sporadic birthday and Christmas cards from him briefly – usually with my named misspelled – and then nothing for years. He stayed somewhat connected to my aunt and father while he relocated frequently within this country. Maybe about three years ago, he settled back down in the town where he and my grandmother had married. I’ve seen him twice, I believe, in the past 20 years. As a teenager, I determined it was impossible for me to maintain a relationship with him, and ever since I tend to forget he even exists. I know how awful that must sound, but it’s the truth. My mom’s dad died 14 years before I was born, and this one has never been present, so in my mind, I have two grandmothers and no grandfathers.

My crazy grandfather is 83 years old. As my two grandmothers descend into predictable patterns of ill health associated with aging, he, too, has begun to deteriorate. He has actually taken remarkably good care of himself for years, remembering to test his blood sugar and not falling victim to any diabetes-related complications the lonely and elderly often do. Recently, however, he has grown more and more forgetful. Last week, my dad received unpleasant news: my grandfather – whom I called Pa Paw in the days before – is declining. A recent illness kept him from his regular visits to the VA to get his pills organized and, as a result, he hasn’t taken them in days. He also doesn’t remember to eat all the time. He lives alone in a town an hour away from the rest of us, so tending to his needs is no easy task. My aunt and father are trying to figure out the best way to take care of him, but it isn’t as easy as having someone drop in to check on him. Though in most ways his mental condition is leaps and bounds above what it once was, he remains an old man with a bad memory and a looming paranoia that makes him distrust many people and entities that are designed to help him. My dad and resourceful aunt are making calls in an attempt to get him some help (from the VA, Adult Social Services, Meals On Wheels, etc.), so hopefully things will stabilize soon.

I suppose I’m lucky to have made it to 25 before my grandparents began declining. It’s unfortunate it should happen to all of them at once, but that’s life. Right now, I’m trying to figure out the best way to be useful. I’m happy to drop in on my grandmothers, but I cannot do that with my crazy grandfather. I doubt he would recognize me or let me in the house, and I honestly don’t want to see him. There isn’t a way for me to send money except for well-concealed cash, which doesn’t sound like a good idea. My dad asked me to make myself available to do some sibling wrangling in case he or his girlfriend need to pay a call on my grandfather. You never have to twist my arm to spend time with the kids, especially if it helps my dad take care of his own father. I guess that can be my contribution until I figure out something more proactive. I want to be a good granddaughter – did I mention I’m the oldest, but the one in which he’s shown the least interest? – but it’s hard to be dutiful to someone you hardly remember.

Garden Week #3

Gee, Brigid, your garden is looking a bit . . . funny . . .

Well, the first day of spring brought a very special gift of snow and sleet, so I had to move my tender baby plants indoors to shield them from the sub-freezing temperatures. Please try to ignore my apartment's terrible lighting and focus on the lush greenery of my container garden!

I can't believe how much my arugula has taken off! Refer to this post for comparison. And wait, what is that I see?

Tiny spinach sprouts! It'll be salad time before I know it. There's still no considerable change with the taters or the bloobs, but my fingers are still crossed.

I hope you're all keeping warm this weekend! The hideous weather, which came in on the tails of the year's most glorious 70-degree day, rescheduled Saturday's UnBirthday Party for Friday night instead. Mark your calendars, because it's still going to rock your world!

Poll results

Thanks to everyone who took my poll! I was actually very surprised by the results. Almost unanimously, you all love recipes best, followed by daily eats, crafting, giveaways and gardening. I had assumed my readers were not interested in my food posts, so I was going to move those elsewhere. I guess that would be a mistake! Instead, everything will stay right here. If I start feeling industrious, I may open a second blog anyway, but I won't remove any of the content you like the best.

So stay tuned for a very special gardening post coming your way shortly.

New poll

Hey friends!

When you get a chance, please pop over to the upper right side of my blog to vote in my poll. I'm considering starting a second blog to focus this one more on art, crafting and things of that nature. But first, I wanted to see what my readers like about my current blog so I don't relocate content you enjoy. The poll closes on Friday, so if you could give me your opinion this week, I'd greatly appreciate it. Please check all answers that apply.

Thanks for your help!

A Very Merry UnBirthday

Hey fellow Wonderland lovers! This Saturday, prepare to fall through the rabbit hole into ArtBeat Magazine's totally amazing UnBirthday Party.

It is a celebration of art of all kinds. Alice-inspired works in a variety of media will adorn the walls, and the evening will be full of sponatenous performance pieces. You won't want to miss it! Need one more reason? I'll be there in a silly costume. :) I've been one of the volunteers since the beginning of the year, and I can't wait to watch it take shape.

Come for the art, stay for the company. There will be DJs, dancers, freaks, weirdos, and sweet little ladies like AudreyEclectic. If you're interested in volunteering, just let me know! We need help the Friday before and the day of to set up and get everything movin' and groovin'. Put together a fabulous costume, and hang out with us. Visit ArtBeat's web site for all the details.

Watching my garden grow

A week ago yesterday, I planted Phase 1 of my container garden. I've decided to take pictures every week to monitor how she's doing. Check out what I've done so far:

Here is my complete "garden" on Day 1. The container nearest the blue chair is empty but will be filled with tomatoes and peppers when the weather warms up. Here it is at the end of Week 1:

OK, so it pretty much looks exactly the same. Let's take a closer look.

This container is the most fun so far. On the far left you see arugula. It is already yummy. Next to it is pineapple mint, which I couldn't resist buying. I've read that I should probably grow it in its own container, but, well, clearly I am not. In the center is a snapdragon plant that will begin flowering soon, I hope. In the empty space above will grow spinach, and below will be cilantro. The seeds are in, so it's just a waiting game now. The darker greenery to the right is half a dozen small strawberry plants. I've been dutifully removing the flowers as the instructions said. Below it is a little basil plant. And on the far right is curly parsley. Here's the same container a week later:

Not much has changed, but there is a little growth.

Here is my blueberry plant. I couldn't find the little bushes recommended to me, so I decided just to go for it with the larger plant. As you can see, it's leaning kinda crazy, so I need to work on that. It came that way, but I think I can fix it. A week later, we have:

It's subtle, but can you see the little red pre-berries (yes, clearly that's a technical term)? I know my taller half will enjoy this dude.

Lastly is my totally unimpressive potato container. No, you can't see anything on Day 1...

Or at the end of Week 1. However, you will all be mightily impressed when I am able to consume purple and russet new potatoes. Bwah ha ha!

So that's my garden so far. I will post more pictures throughout the process.

Brigid Does Tulsa

Hey folks! Head on over to Tasha Does Tulsa's fabulous blog to see my guest post. Yep, it's about clay, but it's fun, I promise! Here's a sneak preview:

At 5’3”, I’m almost too diminutive for the pottery wheel. My arms aren’t quite strong enough to overpower a large mound of clay, and my hands are a bit delicate to endure the scraping of the metal wheel as I attempt to transform a two-pound, wet mass of earth into a mug for my morning tea.

Now click here to read the rest!